wowjili jj Edo: PDP, APC clash over invasion of secretariatBalancing work deadlines with the needs of her five and eight-year-old boys isn't easy for Terri Huggins. Then the holiday season rolls in, with a slew of performances, parties, gift obligations, and questions about which family members they'll visit this year and whether to let the kids use screens during winter break. "How many events can I even physically show up to when you have work and other responsibilities?" asked Huggins, an editorial consultant in West Windsor, New Jersey. "And is it going to scar my child if I go to the two chorus things and not the holiday pageant or the holiday party? And then am I going to scar my child if I give them too few gifts or not enough gifts?" There's also the consideration of gifts or cards for classroom teachers, music and art instructors, lunch aides and case managers. When it comes to gifts, people often don't see "the mental aspect," Huggins said. "I want to show them that I appreciate them. You don’t want to give them junk. Then there’s the shipping deadlines, making sure that it’s in your budget." Like Huggins, many parents are up against the "mother lode" of stress way before the holiday season adds extra demands. What should parents do when even more is piled on for the holidays? Experts say parents can try to make the season more manageable by rethinking expectations, asking for help, handling family drama strategically and giving themselves something to look forward to in January. Do you feel jolly and bright? To start, how do you want to feel during this holiday season? That's an important question parents can consider, said Anna Seewald, a Princeton, New Jersey-based psychologist and host of the "Authentic Parenting" podcast. "It could be cozy and warm," Seewald said. "So everything you do during the holiday season — the shopping, the cooking, the getting together — you can always pause and ask yourself this question: Is this making me feel cozy and warm? Is this aligned with my intention?" The answer, she noted, can help you say yes or no to an invitation. Who insisted on these cookies? Parents can also consider the source of their expectations, said Kimberly Solo, a Medfield, Massachusetts-based therapist who treats adult women. Parents may feel pressure to get matching family pajamas because they see others doing it on social media. But doing so may be too expensive or even just annoying. Instead, she suggested parents ask: "What’s our bandwidth? How much do we have to give this holiday season?" Seewald also recommended parents reconsider past traditions to see if they still suit you. "Give yourself permission to do it differently, because you are in a different place today," she said. "Just because for the past 10 years you’ve done it that way doesn’t mean you have to continue at the cost of your mental health or sanity." Time to unload the mental load Women are often the "default parents" who take on most of the planning and organizing in their families, Solo noted. When workloads increase dramatically around the holidays, it’s especially important to delegate or ask the family to pitch in and split up the duties. To cut down on cooking responsibilities, Seewald suggested catering dishes or asking everyone to bring something. "It doesn’t have to be all homemade, all from scratch," she said, "maybe not this year, if you have a toddler and a sick child, and some other things going on in your life." Limit excessive gift giving For some families, the presents just pile up , but Seewald said it is possible to cut down on the number of gifts without being a grinch. She suggested parents ask for donations to a charity — which they could select with their kids. Or, if a large family is getting together, each family member could pick one kid to buy for and invest in a meaningful gift. Another option is enlisting kids to choose some of their presents to donate in January. It will feel good to reduce household clutter and give to others. If your finances are tight during the holidays, the pressure can be hard. "Buy nothing" groups can help, and it’s OK to ask for basic needs. (And remind yourself that children will remember the hot chocolate and movie nights more than the latest electronic gadgets they did not get when they're older.) Cut down on family drama Many people have colorful characters in their families whom they get together with during the holidays. Solo said it’s important to have reasonable expectations and not assume relatives will change. A get-together doesn’t feel cozy or warm if certain kids tend to bully their younger cousins. So don’t go or plan to stay for a short time and have an exit plan. And leave if you don’t like the mood. Solo also recommended parents practice self-care before those events — such as getting enough rest and visiting with supportive friends — so they’re better equipped to manage the stress. Planning for January After the holidays are over, a phone-free family night — playing a game or watching a movie — is a great way to bring people together without creating extra work for anyone. Solo also tells her clients to make plans to do something for themselves in January. If a trip is outside of their budget, she said, maybe a friend can take their kids one night, and another night they can take care of the friend’s children. "Plan something for January to look forward to that doesn’t involve taking care of other people," she said. That’s another way parents can make a frenetic season feel a little more calm and bright.

MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) — Colby Rogers scored 28 points and Moussa Cisse had 13 points, 11 rebounds and three blocks as Memphis defeated No. 16 MIssissippi 87-70 on Saturday. PJ Haggerty finished with 17 points as Memphis (10-3) won for the third time in four games. Sean Pedulla led Ole Miss (11-2) with 13 points and four assists. Jaylen Murray scored 12 and Malik Dia 11 as the Rebels had their five-game winning streak halted. Memphis' defense caused early problems for the Rebels, and the Tigers extended their lead to double digits. But, Ole Miss made five straight field goals, including a string of 3-pointers, to get back into the game before halftime, trailing by just two points at the break. The Tigers opened the second half on a 14-4 run and extended their lead to as many as 13 points near the midway point of the second half. Ole Miss: The Rebels are 24-2 in non-conference games since Chris Beard took over last season, the only other loss to Purdue on Nov. 29. Memphis: The Tigers entered with two straight home losses, to Arkansas State and Mississippi State. From the start, Cisse played inspired. The first play was set up for a Cisse dunk, part of Memphis getting off to a good start. His inside game complemented Rogers' scoring from the outside. Ole Miss commits less than nine turnovers a game while forcing 16.7 per game for opponents. The Memphis defense caused eight Rebel miscues before halftime. While the Rebels cut down on the turnovers in the second half, Memphis defenders continued to cause problems. Ole Miss opens SEC play on Jan. 4 against Georgia. Memphis travels to Florida Atlantic on Thursday. Get poll alerts and updates on the AP Top 25 throughout the season. Sign up here . AP college basketball: https://apnews.com/hub/ap-top-25-college-basketball-poll and https://apnews.com/hub/college-basketball

REFORM, Ala. (AP) — A federal judge ruled that the family of former NFL player Glenn Foster Jr., who died in law enforcement custody in Alabama, can pursue a lawsuit alleging his death was the result of excessive force. Foster, a former New Orleans Saints defensive end, died on Dec. 6, 2021, three days after being arrested and taken to jail in rural Pickens County for alleged speeding and attempting to elude police. A judge ordered Foster taken to a medical facility in Tuscaloosa for a mental evaluation. Foster was found unresponsive in the back of a law enforcement vehicle when he arrived at the facility. He was pronounced dead about 30 minutes later. His widow, Pamela Foster, filed a lawsuit against officers at the Pickens County Sheriff’s Office and jail saying Foster had been beaten, shocked with a Taser and strangled while at the jail. The defendants then asked a federal judge to dismiss the case. U.S. District Judge Annemarie Carney Axon ruled Thursday refused to dismiss allegations of excessive force and failure to intervene. Axon dismissed other portions of the lawsuit. The ruling came a day before the third anniversary of Foster’s death. Foster appeared in 17 games for the Saints in 2013 and 2014.Thrivent Financial for Lutherans Sells 398,382 Shares of BondBloxx Bloomberg Six Month Target Duration US Treasury ETF (NYSEARCA:XHLF)US coach Emma Hayes admits to anthem uncertainty ahead of England stalemate