Littler, who won the Grand Slam of Darts last week, hit checkouts of 170, 164 and 136 as he threatened to overturn an early deficit, but Humphries held his nerve to win the last three legs. “I’m really, really proud of that one to be honest,” Humphries told Sky Sports. FOR THE SECOND TIME 🏆🏆 Luke Humphries retains his 2024 Ladbrokes Players Championship Finals title, beating Luke Littler 11-7 in the final. pic.twitter.com/QUhxvSbGeu — PDC Darts (@OfficialPDC) November 24, 2024 “I didn’t feel myself this week playing-wise, I felt like I was a dart behind in a lot of the scenarios but there’s something that Luke does to you. He really drives me, makes me want to be a better player and I enjoy playing him. “He let me in really early in that first session to go 4-1 up, I never looked back and I’m proud that I didn’t take my foot off the gas. These big games are what I live for. “Luke is a special talent and he was right – I said to him I’ve got to get these (titles) early before he wins them all. “I’d love to be up here and hitting 105 averages like Luke is all the time but he’s a different calibre, he’s probably the best player in the world right now but there’s something about me that never gives up. “This is a great way to go into the worlds.” HUMPHRIES GOES BACK-TO-BACK! 🏆 Luke Humphries retains his Players Championship Finals title! Cool Hand puts on an absolute clinic to defeat Luke Littler 11-7 in an epic final! 📺 https://t.co/AmuG0PMn18 #PCF2024 | Final pic.twitter.com/nZDWPUVjWE — PDC Darts (@OfficialPDC) November 24, 2024 Littler, who lost the world championship final to Humphries last year, said: “It was tough, missed a few doubles and if you don’t take chances early on, it’s a lot to come back. “I hit the 170 and the 164 but just didn’t have enough in the end. “It’s been a good past two weeks. I just can’t wait to go home, chill out, obviously practice at home for the worlds. That’s it now, leading up to the big one.”
Kroger/Albertsons Ruling Provides Lessons for Merger Remedy DivestituresSagittarius natives enter this week with a burst of exuberance and optimism, as indicated by the planets stating that December 30th is one of the best days of the week. You may kick off Monday feeling confident about your social standing, enjoying respectful treatment from colleagues, friends, and family members alike. Even more heartening, you might uncover new channels for investing or discover hidden opportunities in fields such as creative projects, marketing, or technology. By midweek, the festive spirit extends to your home environment, with the 31st featuring potential celebrations or small gatherings that make you feel supported. If you’ve been yearning for deeper family connections or clarity about your living situation, the start of 2025 is a prime time to solidify these structures. That said, you could experience a spike in restlessness around the 2nd or 3rd of January, especially if you feel compelled to take on multiple projects simultaneously. Strive for balance: while the pioneering Sagittarian spirit thrives on new experiences, pacing yourself will enable you to transform scattered energy into sustainable progress. As the weekend approaches, you’ll likely revisit personal goals with renewed determination, embracing the new year with unwavering positivity. Love & Relationship The emotional climate for Sagittarius looks promising, though not without a few hurdles. Early in the week, your playful side shines, attracting both new acquaintances and lighting a spark in existing relationships. Singles may find themselves the center of attention at social gatherings, while couples enjoy an atmosphere of comfort and openness. The planets mention a day of celebration in the family, which can create an ideal setting for meaningful conversations about the future. As you transition into January, your partner’s support becomes more evident, especially if you share financial or career-related goals. Still, watch out for occasional disagreements around the 2nd or 3rd. Differences in opinions might trigger short-lived arguments. Sagittarius usually resolves tension by focusing on the bigger picture—so try stepping back from small annoyances. Ultimately, a sense of teamwork and shared excitement for what 2025 holds can reaffirm your bonds, ushering your relationships into a phase of greater understanding and mutual respect. Education & Career Sagittarians studying or pursuing knowledge-based vocations see a favorable stretch throughout this week. The planets point to success in academic endeavors, especially if you take advantage of your inherent optimism and love for exploration. Assignments or research tasks flourish under your curiosity-driven approach, and you may receive praise from mentors or peers. If you’ve been contemplating enrolling in a specialty course or thinking of traveling abroad for studies, the new year signals an encouraging cosmic window for such plans. On the career front, December 30th to January 1st feels like an opportune period for self-promotion, brand-building, or job applications. Business owners can harness this vibrant energy to capture fresh leads or rethink marketing strategies that expand their reach. Working professionals may feel the impetus to deliver above and beyond, and your superiors or team members will take note. Around the 2nd and 3rd, however, you could feel overwhelmed by a sudden influx of tasks. Maintain clarity in your priorities—knowing exactly which projects demand immediate attention and which can wait will spare you unnecessary stress. Money & Finance Financially, the planets describe a generally productive scenario for Sagittarians. Early in the week, you might identify lucrative investment options—possibly in stocks, speculative ventures, or real estate. While you’re known for taking chances, do keep your personal risk tolerance in mind. If you’re more conservative, verify market details, consult experts, or rely on trusted mentors before making commitments. This approach ensures that your innate adventurousness remains balanced by practicality. Midweek, you may enjoy a boost in family resources or receive small windfalls that help cushion your savings. If you’re supporting a broader household, your leadership can guide everyone into better budgeting. Be mindful, though, that your own love for spontaneity and travel might prompt impulse purchases, so weigh each expense carefully. By the weekend, your financial outlook feels stable enough to let you approach future plans—like property acquisitions or further education expenses—with clearheaded confidence. Health & Well-being Sagittarius is typically associated with a zest for life, and your vitality remains strong through most of the week. However, the planets do mention the possibility of mental restlessness or physical exhaustion if you take on too many ventures at once. Early in the period, ride the wave of enthusiasm but remember to schedule breaks in your day. Basic stretches, quick meditations, or short outdoor walks can help channel your dynamic energy more effectively. From January 2nd onward, tension might surface if your responsibilities become overwhelming, potentially leading to mild symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or irritability. Keep in mind that your body and mind are interconnected—nurturing one benefits the other. A balanced diet, consistent hydration, and moderate intake of stimulants (like coffee or energy drinks) will keep you on an even keel. By the time the weekend arrives, your spirits bounce back, buoyed by the delight of new beginnings and the comfort of supportive relationships. With thoughtful choices in diet and lifestyle, you can preserve your trademark Sagittarius optimism well into the new year. Discover everything about astrology at the Times of India , including daily horoscopes for Aries , Taurus , Gemini , Cancer , Leo , Virgo , Libra , Scorpio , Sagittarius , Capricorn , Aquarius , and Pisces .
Manufacturer marks Official Supplier status with 5 millionth tankless water heater donation and 50-year anniversary milestone PEACHTREE CITY, Ga. , Dec. 19, 2024 /PRNewswire/ -- Rinnai America Corporation — manufacturer of a leading brand of tankless gas water heaters in North America — is proud to announce a landmark partnership with Homes For Our Troops (HFOT), a nonprofit organization dedicated to building and donating specially adapted custom homes nationwide for severely injured post-9/11 Veterans, to enable them to rebuild their lives. The new agreement makes Rinnai the Official Supplier of water heaters for new homes across the country through 2027. This exclusive collaboration strengthens both organizations' shared commitment to providing Veterans and their families with the resources they need to rebuild their lives after service. Also celebrating 50 years in North America , Rinnai marked the occasion by donating the 5 millionth tankless water heater manufactured at its state-of-the-art facility in Griffin, Georgia for a new home under construction in Texas . "Celebrating 50 years and reaching 5 million tankless water heaters sold in the North American market are significant milestones for us but knowing that our donation is helping a Veteran and their family start a new chapter in life is incredibly meaningful," said Frank Windsor , President, Rinnai America Corporation. "We are honored to help restore some of the freedom and independence to the brave men and women who have sacrificed so much defending our country. Our continued partnership with Homes For Our Troops is a powerful way for us to give back and deliver our brand promise of 'Creating a healthier way of living'." Since its inception in 2004, HFOT has built over 400 homes. Each specially adapted energy efficient home is designed to comfortably raise a family while limiting future expenses. Equipped with Rinnai's durable and highly energy efficient products, the homes constructed as part of this partnership will help reduce the families' long-term utility costs and serve as a safe and welcoming place to call home for years to come. "We are incredibly proud to extend our partnership with Rinnai. The company's passion for assisting Veterans and their families significantly helps us advance our mission of Building Homes and Rebuilding Lives for severely injured post-9/11 Veterans," said HFOT President/CEO, Brig. Gen., USA (Ret) Tom Landwermeyer . "These Veterans face enormous challenges, and through this partnership, we are also providing the comfort and convenience of a high-quality water heater to help create a home that promotes healing and independence." Army SGT Christopher Leverkuhn will receive the 5 millionth product, a SENSEI ® RX Series, for his home currently under construction in Kerrville, Texas . The most advanced condensing tankless water heater on the market, it sets the standard for efficiency at 0.98 UEF and creates a healthier way of living by delivering the ultimate in comfort, smart design and unlimited hot water. Over the next three years, Rinnai will donate appropriate products with features ideal for the hot water demands of each Veterans' home. Many will receive Rinnai's newest condensing tankless water heater, the SENSEI RXP. This product comes equipped with a built-in recirculation pump to deliver faster hot water to the faucet. Rinnai will also provide its RWM200 WiFi module, which can be used with the Rinnai Central TM app to control temperature and recirculation patterns. Veterans may also receive Rinnai's new electric heat pump water heater , one of the most sustainable electric water heating solutions available, meeting highest efficiency standards while reducing energy usage and costs. The agreement highlights the growing commitment of the sustainable manufacturer's corporate responsibility and charitable giving in addressing the needs of Veterans and their families. In addition to HFOT, Rinnai partners with Folds of Honor, a nonprofit organization that provides educational scholarships to the spouses and children of military members who have fallen or been disabled while serving in the United States Armed Forces. These organizations prove that partnerships can lead to lasting change and help those who have given so much for their country. About Homes For Our Troops: Homes For Our Troops (HFOT) is a publicly funded 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that builds and donates specially adapted custom homes nationwide for severely injured post-9/11 Veterans, to enable them to rebuild their lives. Most of these Veterans have sustained injuries including multiple limb amputations, partial or full paralysis, and/or severe traumatic brain injury (TBI). These homes restore some of the freedom and independence our Veterans sacrificed while defending our country, and enable them to focus on their family, recovery, and rebuilding their lives. Since its inception in 2004, nearly 90 cents of every dollar spent has gone to our program services for Veterans. HFOT builds these homes where the veteran chooses to live and continues its relationship with the Veterans after home delivery to assist them with rebuilding their lives. www.hfotusa.org . About Rinnai: Rinnai America Corporation, a subsidiary of Rinnai Corporation in Nagoya, Japan , was established in 1974 and is headquartered in Peachtree City, Georgia . Rinnai Corporation manufactures gas appliances, including tankless water heaters, a wide range of kitchen appliances, and heating and air conditioning units. As the technology leader in its industry, Rinnai is the largest gas appliance manufacturer in Japan and is the No. 1 selling brand of tankless gas water heaters in the United States and Canada . Annual corporate revenues, including those of its subsidiaries, are in excess of $3.3 billion . With a global perspective to create 21st-century products for the home and business, Rinnai Corporation commits itself to safety and Creating a healthier way of living ® . For more information about Rinnai's entire product line, visit www.rinnai.us . Copyright 2024. All rights reserved. Rinnai ® and Creating a healthier way of living ® are the registered trademarks of Rinnai Corporation used under license by Rinnai America Corporation. View original content to download multimedia: https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/rinnai-america-joins-forces-with-homes-for-our-troops-to-aid-injured-veterans-302336611.html SOURCE Rinnai America Corporation
A melee broke out at midfield of Ohio Stadium after Michigan upset No. 2 Ohio State 13-10 on Saturday. After the Wolverines' fourth straight win in the series, players converged at the block "O" to plant its flag. The Ohio State players were in the south end zone singing their alma mater in front of the student section. When the Buckeyes saw the Wolverines' flag, they rushed toward the 50-yard line. Social media posts showed Michigan offensive lineman Raheem Anderson carrying the flag on a long pole to midfield, where the Wolverines were met by dozens of Ohio State players and fights broke out. Buckeyes defensive end Jack Sawyer was seen ripping the flag off the pole and taking the flag as he scuffled with several people trying to recover the flag. A statement from the Ohio State Police Department read: "Following the game, officers from multiple law enforcement agencies assisted in breaking up an on-field altercation. During the scuffle, multiple officers representing Ohio and Michigan deployed pepper spray. OSUPD is the lead agency for games and will continue to investigate." Michigan running back Kalel Mullings on FOX said: "For such a great game, you hate to see stuff like that after the game. It's bad for the sport, bad for college football. At the end of the day, some people got to learn how to lose, man. "You can't be fighting and stuff just because you lost the game. We had 60 minutes and four quarters to do all that fighting. Now people want to talk and fight. That's wrong. It's bad for the game. Classless, in my opinion. People got to be better." Once order was restored, officers cordoned the 50-yard line, using bicycles as barriers. Ohio State coach Ryan Day in his postgame press conference said he wasn't sure what happened. "I don't know all the details of it. But I know that these guys are looking to put a flag on our field and our guys weren't going to let that happen," he said. "I'll find out exactly what happened, but this is our field and certainly we're embarrassed at the fact we lost the game, but there's some prideful guys on our team that weren't just going to let that happen." The Big Ten has not yet released a statement on the incident. --Field Level MediaLark Hotels Forms Joint Venture With Life House, Adding More Than 50 Properties to North American PortfolioNATO and Ukraine to hold emergency talks after Russian attack with hypersonic missile
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By ADRIANA GOMEZ LICON, The Associated Press FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — Republican senators pushed back on Sunday against criticism from Democrats that Tulsi Gabbard, Donald Trump’s pick to lead U.S. intelligence services, is “compromised” by her comments supportive of Russia and secret meetings, as a congresswoman, with Syria’s president, a close ally of the Kremlin and Iran. Sen. Tammy Duckworth, D-Illinois, a veteran of combat missions in Iraq, said she had concerns about Tulsi Gabbard, Trump’s choice to be director of national intelligence. “I think she’s compromised,” Duckworth said on CNN’s “State of the Union,” citing Gabbard’s 2017 trip to Syria, where she held talks with Syrian President Bashar Assad. Gabbard was a Democratic House member from Hawaii at the time. “The U.S. intelligence community has identified her as having troubling relationships with America’s foes. And so my worry is that she couldn’t pass a background check,” Duckworth said. Gabbard, who said last month she is joining the Republican party, has served in the Army National Guard for more than two decades. She was deployed to Iraq and Kuwait and, according to the Hawaii National Guard, received a Combat Medical Badge in 2005 for “participation in combat operations under enemy hostile fire in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom III.” Duckworth’s comments drew immediate backlash from Republicans. “For her to say ridiculous and outright dangerous words like that is wrong,” Sen. Markwayne Mullin, R-Oklahoma, said on CNN, challenging Duckworth to retract her words. “That’s the most dangerous thing she could say — is that a United States lieutenant colonel in the United States Army is compromised and is an asset of Russia.” In recent days, other Democrats have accused Gabbard without evidence of being a “Russian asset.” Sen. Elizabeth Warren, a Massachusetts Democrat, has claimed, without offering details, that Gabbard is in Russian President Vladimir “Putin’s pocket.” Mullin and others say the criticism from Democrats is rooted in the fact that Gabbard left their party and has become a Trump ally. Democrats say they worry that Gabbard’s selection as national intelligence chief endangers ties with allies and gives Russia a win. Rep. Adam Schiff, a California Democrat just elected to the Senate, said he would not describe Gabbard as a Russian asset, but said she had “very questionable judgment.” “The problem is if our foreign allies don’t trust the head of our intelligence agencies, they’ll stop sharing information with us,” Schiff said on NBC’s “Meet the Press.” Gabbard in 2022 endorsed one of Russia’s justifications for invading Ukraine: the existence of dozens of U.S.-funded biolabs working on some of the world’s nastiest pathogens. The labs are part of an international effort to control outbreaks and stop bioweapons, but Moscow claimed Ukraine was using them to create deadly bioweapons. Gabbard said she just voiced concerns about protecting the labs. Sen. Eric Schmitt, R-Missouri, said he thought it was “totally ridiculous” that Gabbard was being cast as a Russian asset for having different political views. “It’s insulting. It’s a slur, quite frankly. There’s no evidence that she’s a asset of another country,” he said on NBC. Sen. James Lankford, another Oklahoma Republican, acknowledged having “lots of questions” for Gabbard as the Senate considers her nomination to lead the intelligence services. Lankford said on NBC that he wants to ask Gabbard about her meeting with Assad and some of her past comments about Russia. “We want to know what the purpose was and what the direction for that was. As a member of Congress, we want to get a chance to talk about past comments that she’s made and get them into full context,” Lankford said.Arsenal up to second after Kai Havertz goal sees off struggling Ipswich
Article content WASHINGTON — President-elect Donald Trump called his meeting with Justin Trudeau productive and says the prime minister made a commitment to work with the United States to end the drug crisis amid the threat of stiff tariffs. “We discussed many important topics that will require both Countries to work together to address, like the Fentanyl and Drug Crisis that has decimated so many lives as a result of Illegal Immigration, Fair Trade Deals that do not jeopardize American Workers, and the massive Trade Deficit the U.S. has with Canada,” Trump said in a post on Truth Social Saturday. Trudeau flew to Florida Friday evening to attend a dinner at Mar-a-Lago, where Trump’s transition team is based. The in-person meeting came at the end of a rocky week in which Trump threatened to impose stiff tariffs on all imports from Canada and Mexico, unless the two countries stop illegal border crossings and prevent illicit drugs from entering the United States. Trump said he and Trudeau discussed the drug crisis and the president-elect made it “very clear that the United States will no longer sit idly by as our Citizens become victims” of the drug epidemic, which he attributed to cartels and fentanyl coming from China. “Prime Minister Trudeau has made a commitment to work with us to end this terrible devastation of U.S. Families,” Trump posted. Trump said the pair also discussed illegal immigration, as well as trade, energy and the Arctic. Trump’s post did not directly mention tariffs and it’s unclear whether the prime minister’s visit has alleviated his concerns about the border. Trudeau, in West Palm Beach Saturday morning, answered a reporter’s question about the dinner, calling it “an excellent conversation.” A statement from the Prime Minister’s Office said the two leaders “shared a productive wide-ranging discussion over dinner.” It was centred on collaboration and strengthening the bilateral relationship. “As Canada’s closest friend and ally, the United States is our key partner, and we are committed to working together in the interests of Canadians and Americans,” the statement said. Trudeau had a notably rocky relationship with the Republican leader during the first Trump administration. However, the prime minister was the first G7 leader to visit Trump since the Nov. 5 election. Trump’s tariff threats are critical for Canada. More than 77 per cent of Canadian exports go to the United States. Trudeau said earlier Friday that he would resolve the issue by talking with Trump.
Which are the safest jobs in construction? A new survey assesses accident rates in the UK and details those construction occupations with the best safety measures. Paving, surfacing, and tamping equipment operators rank among the safest blue-collar jobs with the highest safety score. Another group standing high are sheet metal workers are reported to have zero nonfatal injuries, ranking second to paving operators, primarily due to more falls, slips, and trips. The survey comes from Good Guys Injury Law , who analysed workplace safety data across ten major industrial occupations to pinpoint the safest blue-collar jobs. Factors included fatal injuries, transportation accidents, falls, harmful substance exposure, and equipment-related incidents. Each category was normalized and weighted for balanced scoring. Kenneth L. Christensen, Managing Partner at Good Guys Injury Law tells Digital Journal: “Our recent analysis shows that when it comes to blue-collar jobs, safety isn’t a given—it’s a result of focused effort. The top-ranked roles, like paving equipment operators and sheet metal workers, demonstrate how smart safety protocols can transform even high-risk jobs into some of the safest . This research highlights a crucial takeaway: safety standards make a real difference, and in the right conditions, “blue-collar” work can be as secure as any job out there.” The survey outcomes are: From the table, Paving, Surfacing, and Tamping Equipment Operators lead the list of the safest blue-collar jobs with an impressive safety record of 1.1. With just six workplace fatalities and zero reportable incidents across all major risk areas, these operators maintain top-tier safety protocols, even in high-exposure conditions. Close behind are Sheet Metal Workers, securing second place with a weighted score of 4.3. Their safety track record has minimal occupational hazards—only seven fatalities and three fall-related incidents —showcasing a highly controlled work environment. Machinists maintain strong safety standards and come third with a score of 5.8. The occupation reports zero exposure to harmful substances and transportation-related accidents, setting a benchmark in industrial safety standards. The fourth place goes to crane and tower operators. Their industry-leading low rate of slips, trips, and falls outperforms both machinists and sheet metal workers, validating the effectiveness of their height safety programs. This helps to keep their position in the top ranks of safe blue-collar jobs. Operating Engineers and Other Construction Equipment Operators are in fifth place. The job category has 39 total fatal injuries with zero incidents in transportation, fires, falls, and harmful substance exposure. Operating engineers maintain a strong safety record, with low exposure to most incident types, which balances their safety score and earns them a top-five ranking. Ranked sixth, Brickmasons, Blockmasons, and Stonemasons have zero incidents of workplace violence and animal-related risks. These masonry experts stand out for their rigorous environmental risk management and control on job sites. Industrial Machinery Mechanics secure the seventh position, with perfect records in workplace violence, transportation incidents, and fire-related hazards. Regularly handling complex machinery, they maintain tight safety standards, limiting risks effectively. Plumbers, Pipefitters, and Steamfitters come in eighth, with 32 fatalities and incidents across transportation (8), falls (9), and harmful substance exposure (6). Their safety metrics reflect strong risk management, particularly in fire prevention and equipment handling. Industrial Truck and Tractor Operators come ninth with a score of 10.7. These workers drive, maneuver, or control heavy machinery in nearly every weather condition. They report 33 incidents in transportation but still demonstrate resilience in key safety areas and maintained a low exposure rate to harmful substances (3). Painters, Construction, and Maintenance are the last ones on the list. They showcase remarkable resilience and safety innovation in their specialized field. While ranking tenth in the comprehensive analysis, these craftsmen demonstrate exceptional strength in critical safety categories, particularly in equipment handling and fire prevention protocols. Dr. Tim Sandle is Digital Journal's Editor-at-Large for science news.Tim specializes in science, technology, environmental, business, and health journalism. He is additionally a practising microbiologist; and an author. He is also interested in history, politics and current affairs.
You want to know what to me feels like having to sleep on wet wool blankets? Doing research, that’s what. There’s no getting ’round it, it’s just plain tiresome, and I really hate having to do it. Except this time. For this column, the research was way, way cool because I conducted it in my most favorite locations anywhere on earth — restaurants. Any restaurant. Because I could eat while I was doing it and because I could legally eavesdrop on people, because I had to, for the research you see. So, equipped with my palm-sized secret spy decoder tape recorder, I charged off into the vast unknown, prepared to sacrifice my all for this column. My job is my life. I exaggerate just a speck. I do that. The place to which I charged really wasn’t unknown, or even vast. It was downtown. I selected a semi-local eatery, sat and pretended to read a newspaper. (You can always espy a top-notch undercover researcher — they’re the ones pretending to read a newspaper.) But I was really eavesdropping. I heard a mother at the next table casually saying, “Hey! No karate in the restaurant,” to one of her young. Now when did mothers begin to drone that rule of good manners at their kids in restaurants? (And when did kids begin to do that in restaurants?) What happened to “stop playing with your food, get your elbows off the table, and stop those deafening suck/slurpings with your straw” issues? Forbidding karate while dining? I sure never heard that in my time. But that’s probably because karate hadn’t yet been invented. Martial arts for us was not such an exact science or even a phrase; when confronted by trouble, you ran or begged. “Nope,” said another mother pleasantly one day at a lunch booth next to mine, “You most certainly may not get married. You’re only 12. Now finish your meal. Money is tight this week, and I don’t want to waste it by having to send back your food.” Now, call me shallow, but did she seem more concerned with the waste of food than her pubescent’s wanting to be united in holy or otherwise wedlock? I mean, I’m as against starvation or the flagrant waste of money as the next person, but that mother never rippled an eyelash at her still-in-braces junior-high daughter’s request to be espoused. (The espouse was nowhere in sight.) It wasn’t too many years back, (that’s a lie) when I was being dinner time droned at myself, only I was not denied matrimonial bliss at 12. (That came eight years later when I told the folks I was definitely marrying Mongo.) Back then, I was advised to finish my meals because there were starving Chinese or Armenians or some other nationality somewhere out there who apparently, according to my know-it-all parents, went about coveting my mashed turnips. That’s why I had to finish, not because it was wasting money to not eat every scrap. Talking about money at the table, you see, was considered poor manners. If you desired a raise in allowance, for example, it was deemed unseemly to ask for it at the dinner table. Better it be done later at a more proper time, after dinner, preferably when the allowance-dispenser was a little into his after supping cups. The prospects for success were far more favorable that way. And one evening at a fast-eatery I heard, “Now look. Mom’s a little stressy tonight. And when Mom gets stressy and you act like a bunch of bone-nosed savages, you know she’s apt to break your little butts.” Mrs. Stressy’s kids, having obviously heard that empty threat frequently, glanced over at her Stress’s, right” expressions, and without missing a beat, went back to busily demonstrating their considerable behavior problems for the other diners. Overheard from a table at another food establishment where a family was having a goodbye party for their daughter who was off to college: “Honey, honey, we’ll miss you so much,” said the misty-eyed dad. “You’ll have a wonderful time.” “Yeah, yeah, sure Dad,” was the bored answer, delivered in the same tone kids use when you remind them to be home by 10 p.m. The commands I discharged at our progeny while dining were as follows: “Please, I must insist you do not shove peas up your nose in public,” or “Really, I have little desire to see your food being ground up in your mouth. Please consider screaming at your brother after your mouth has emptied,” or “If you feel compelled to belch so repeatedly while we are eating, you may leave the table and indulge that practice in the garage,” or “If you persist in propping yourself up on the table by your elbows, I shall be forced to knock them away with the gravy ladle,” or “It is getting so tiresome having to remind you every single day to remember to bring the food to your mouth, and not your mouth to the food,” or “Your father and I would so appreciate it if you’d cease bashing your brother on his skull with that salad bowl. It is made of a special sort of glass, and are no longer available,” or “For the 20th time this month, you must stop putting that jar of caterpillars on the table during meals. Doesn’t it occur to you that no one can eat when you do that? Be a little more considerate. They’ve been dead for weeks.” I’m telling the truth about all this, I swear. Want to hear just a couple more really good eavesdrops? At a tea room: “OK, OK, if you like really wanna know what I wanna do with my life, it’s like I wanna sleep as much as I can, and when I wake up I like wanna play games on my phone, and I wanna eat fries with ketchup and smoke a little weed, and then like I wanna go back to sleep. OK, you got that? Watcha so upset for? You axt me. Y’happy now?” Come to think of it, doing research isn’t all bad. LC Van Savage is a Brunswick writer. Comments are not available on this story. Send questions/comments to the editors. « Previous
