Last December came the completion of four full decades of trying to Change The Culture, or to at least Stop The Bleeding, and this column takes not even a quantum of solace in the fact that those things are difficult while Battling The Injury Bug, so At The End Of The Day, we failed to Take Care Of Business, much less Impose Our Will on the indomitable forces that make sports coverage a perpetual black forest of clichés. Or something. In other words — and this whole misbegotten effort has been one long doomed experiment in encouraging the search for other words — you've stumbled upon the 41st annual rendering of the Trite Trophy, which dishonors the worst cliché of the year in sports, and sometimes beyond. If that sounds to those still reading like some incorrigible stupidity, we like to think of it around here as a vaguely charming stick-to-itiveness, a construction so favored by Penguins coach Mike Sullivan that on this there is widespread agreement: Ain't no stick-to-itiveness like Mike Sullivan stick-to-itiveness when it comes to stick-to-itiveness. The baddest cliché slingers in sports history all share a certain stick-to-itiveness, something I discovered recently while wobbling into an MLB Network feature on the 1968 World Series between Detroit and St. Louis. Even 56 years in the rear view, the raw audio of the era included the observations that the Tigers, down three games to one, Have Their Backs To The Wall because There Is No Tomorrow, and worse, had Put All Their Eggs In One Basket by going with Mickey Lolich in Game 5. Thinking Outside The Box before that cliché was even invented, they put the very same eggs in the same Lolich container three days later and wound up absconding with All The Marbles. Fast-forward 56 years, and Mike Tomlin is still talking marbles, describing on his pregame show this week a situation when "all the marbles are on the table." I'm not sure playing marbles on a table is optimal, even in a Hostile Environment, but Mike, You Do You. Once they're in the bloodstream, sports clichés never go away. As we've learned so painfully about our linguistic and etymological habits, It Is What It Is, even if that's the stupidest cliché of all time, in or out of sports, and as such the only two-time winner of the Trite Trophy. Could we see a Three-Peat? In a column about cliché avoidance? Nope. Not with sports constantly mainlining updated nonsense that seems to calcify into cliché status almost overnight, much in the way baseball has elevated High Leverage Situation to a spot where commentators seem compelled to use it any time anything might actually, you know, happen. This is anathema to baseball, seems to me, as the beauty of it is that you can lose a game on the first pitch. While I'm at it, RIP Rickey Henderson, who hit 81 homers as his team's first batter of the game, which does not seem low leverage in any way. BTW, do the game's best hitters still Rake? Because I'm hearing about a lot of guys who Mash. Pitchers who keep wandering into those High Leverage Situations risk throwing something that Caught Too Much Of The Plate, resulting in a bat catching too much of the ball, triggering a Go Ball with some frightening Exit Velocity. As former Pirates great Steve Blass likes to tell fans, the only time he thinks of Exit Velocity is when he's on the toilet. Lest anyone stand accused of Saying The Quiet Part Out Loud, the Trite Trophy Committee (me) acknowledges a bias toward football with the annual award, but only in the way that Oscars tend to favor the more recently released films. Baseball's myriad clichés and those from the other sports just aren't as annoying In The Moment, or just aren't Clicking On All Cylinders. You really don't want your cylinders to be clicking, anyway, so the persistence of that reflex Defies Logic. Further, football suffers no shortage of commentators trying to Force The Issue, as when Matt Millen this fall praised Penn State running back Kaytron Allen for "running behind his pads." Hard to run out in front of them, but I took this to mean Allen was Getting Downhill, which I'm told is what you want to do even though every football field looks flat as a puddle to me. For spontaneous invention of fresh football terminology, few can match the sheer creativity, if not Sheer Athleticism, of the great Steelers radio color man Craig Wolfley. Describing a play on which linebacker Mark Robinson forced a fumble against the Ravens, Wolf called Robinson "twitchier than a sneeze" and always ready to pounce, "like a cat in a rat factory." There's a rat factory? Wolf also said that a run by Najee Harris was the result of "pure ham-hock strength and lower-back leverage." See? A Low Leverage Situation. We've somehow reached the point in the big show when we award the annual Mixologist Medal, which goes to the person who inadvertently started dealing one cliché but finished another, as when Hines Ward once said, "they'll have their hands cut out for them," or "you have to take off your hat and hand it to them." Steelers analyst Chris Hoke was a nominee this year for saying Mason Rudolph got "the raw end of the stick," not to be confused with the short end of the deal, and former Pirates pitcher Jeff Karstens countered with the observation that Paul Skenes "has a big enough name that he'll put seats in the stands." But the medal goes reluctantly to Fox analyst Tom Brady. Though the mix was perhaps minimal, Brady managed to put two sleepy clichés back to back with his observation that the Ravens are "absolute sleeping giants," as opposed to the hypothetical sleeping giants, and that "you can't sleep on this team." So congrats to the GOAT, even as he's putting me to sleep. That Guy Is A Dog emerged as a cliché this football season, as well as That Guy Is A Problem, a fresher version of You've Got To Account For Him. Don't much know what to make of all that, except it reminds me of something I once heard in the neighborhood: That Guy Has A Dog Who Is A Problem! I'd tell you confidently that no such cliché holds a chance against Iconic, but Iconic has itself become such a cliché that All Bets Are Off. Iconic, just in this year, attached itself to everything from ice balls to sandwiches to space telescopes, just about everything but icons. Just saying that maybe we want to Tap The Brakes on Iconic is all. Same goes for You Can't Say Enough About whom or whatever, even as the person speaking is trying his damnedest to say enough about whom or whatever. We're approaching the moment just about no one has been waiting for, so before we introduce our 2024 finalists and the cliché that will take the whole nine-yard ball of wax, we acknowledge a few annoyances that were In The Discussion. What the heck is a Rising Junior anyway? Someone who is going to be a junior in college at some point, if you can find him In The Portal? At that stage of life, I remembering being more a floundering sophomore than a Rising Junior. No consideration was given to Moonball, a long pass from Russell Wilson apparently, even if the Steelers quarterback has been quite forthcoming on its backstory. His deep accuracy has earned the praise of coach Tomlin: "He can drop it into your right front shirt pocket, if you will," to quote the HC. I will, but most shirt pockets are on the left, and no football jerseys have pockets, which you know because guys would be whipping cell phones out of those Early And Often. Now a very Special Shout Out to all of the horrid clichés in our live audience here at Stage TT (snort) and especially to some our past winners. Great to see you Shy Of The First Down, Short Of The Line To Gain, Goin' Up Top (never down bottom), Put This Team On His Back, Extend The Play With His Legs, Create Plays With His Legs, Slow To Get Up (like me), Overcoming Adversity, Look In The Mirror, 50-50 Ball, That Thing Parted Like The Red Sea, That's Gonna Get Called Every Time, Red Zone, Crunch Time, Gut Check, He Went To The Well Once Too Often, Smash-mouth Football, Manage The Game, and Don't You Dare Tell Me I Forgot One Because I Simply Lack The Time And Space Besides If I Could Forget Even One I Wouldn't Have Been Doing This For 41 Years! Here are our finalists, beginning with our second runner-up: Late Hands. One of the freshest clichés of 2024, Late Hands is getting invoked with burgeoning frequency as a way to explain that a pass catcher needn't indicate to his defender with his hands or arms that a football is on the way. He should instead use Late Hands. Hey, I Get It. The first runner-up: Climb The Pocket. This inane construction (formerly Step Up In The Pocket) was an Absolute Beast in 2024 but remains perfectly useless except perhaps as a salve for the football commentators' obsession with Getting Vertical, which is way more critical in basketball. Our winner — and as ever, don't go on the field at the conclusion of the Trite Trophy column — is Pulling Out All The Stops, a cliché so ancient and doggedly undecorated we couldn't bear to see it On The Outside Looking In any longer. It's as ubiquitous today as when it was created in the late 15th century, when stops were first employed on pipe organs, even if they were not in the original game plan of offensive coordinator Ctesibius of Alexandria, who invented pipe organs a few millennia earlier. Teams are still Pulling Out All The Stops, which I gather means making every possible effort and calling on all resources, though it's literally from the Greek meaning Geez That Organ Is Loud! Happy New Year, everybody. OBLIGATORY LIST OF PAST WINNERS 2023: Stay on schedule 2022: The emotional roller coaster 2021: The COVID list 2020: Out Oo an abundance of caution 2019: Not his first rodeo 2018: RPO 2017: High point the football 2016: In the protocol 2015: Next man up 2014: Shy of the first down 2013: Going forward 2012: Take a shot down the field 2011: Are you kidding me? 2010: At the end of the day 2009: Dial up a blitz 2008: Manage the game 2007: They're very physical 2006: It is what it is 2005: It is what it is 2004: Shutdown corner 2003: Cover 2 2002: Running downhill 2001: Put points on the scoreboard 2000: Walk-off homer 1999: Somebody's gotta step up 1998: Eight men in the box 1997: Show me the money 1996: Been there, done that 1995: West Coast offense 1994: Red zone 1993: It hasn't sunk in yet 1992: Mentality of a linebacker 1991: You don't have to be a rocket scientist 1990: Smash-mouth football 1989: He coughs it up 1988: They went to the well once too often 1987: Gut check 1986: Crunch time 1985: Throwback 1984: Play 'em one game at a time ©2024 PG Publishing Co. 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Jimmy Carter, the 39th US president, has died at 100In conclusion, the outcry from villagers regarding the state of the rural roads serves as a reminder of the importance of maintaining vital infrastructure for the benefit of all. With concerted efforts and a commitment to improvement, the roads can be restored to a standard that meets the needs of the community. Let us work together to pave the way for a brighter future for all who call this village home.

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